RIDE IT, WRENCH IT, OR JUST LOOK AT IT: WHO OWNS WHO?
Things seem more complicated than they once were. When the ‘service engine soon’ light goes on, I feel like I’ve been pulled over by the cops. Something is wrong, but I am not allowed to know what. A technician is required, or at least an OBD decoder, and someone who knows how to use it. But the issue goes way, way beyond that. The odor of electrical failure emanates from the dishwasher and the dishes come out dirty. The cloths drier doesn’t dry the cloths, even after three cycles. One of the burners on the stovetop will no longer get hot. The washing machine jumps around on the basement floor, then turns off, flashing warnings about unbalanced loads. I supposedly own all these things, but without the ability to repair them, it feels like they own me. I am held hostage, without clean cloths, a car to drive, or the ability to cook a meal. And worst of all, my underpants are damp.
My good friend Doug is an engineer and a fantastic rider. His dishwasher stopped working. He paid the repair man $95 for a house call. It took the technician 10 minutes to pull a fork out of the drain. I think he could have done it quicker, but he wanted Doug to feel like he was getting his money’s worth. Who owns who?
Thank heavens for You Tube. I can get free tutorials and maybe repair some of these faults myself. It wasn’t too long ago that I found my wife lying on the basement floor next to me at 1 AM, the dis-assembled cloths drier parts scattered all around us. We fixed it! It took a few tries, but I did get the dishwasher to work again as well. The stovetop was simple by comparison. The washing machine took two tries. First, we followed the advice of “The Redneck Engineer”. He suggested via You Tube that we buy a swimming pool noodle for $2.19 and use a length of cloths line to secure it around the washing machine drum, and that this would dampen out the imbalance. It didn’t work. A different You Tube suggested we replace the drum suspension rods which cost 10 times as much as the noodle ($22.00) but it worked and is still working.
Repairing these things was a life changing, liberating experience for me. No longer do I feel enslaved by the things that I own. Free yourself. FIX IT!
Motorcycles were once things that end users normally fixed themselves. NO LONGER. Fuel injection is great! No more gummed up carbs to clean. But when the fuel system fault light comes on, where does that leave the rider? Anti-lock brakes, cruise control, wheelie control, infotainment centers, GPS, heated hand grips and seats, self-adjusting suspension, blue tooth capabilities, electrically adjustable windshields, inertia sensors, ride by wire…. It’s all good. Until it doesn’t work. Then what? Who owns who?
On a typical RetroTour things break. No trouble lights here to tell you that the throttle cable is broken. No You Tube to tell you how to fix it either. What about flat tires? It does happen. Each bike is equipped with spare cables and inner tubes, as well as tire irons and a hand pump. We deal with it. Do we ever get in a situation where we just cannot effect a repair? Yes, it has happened once or twice in the last twenty years. Maybe someone will have to ride as a passenger for a while. Maybe we can dash home overnight and grab a backup bike. Maybe we can buy a replacement bike locally. Whatever it takes, we find a way to deal with it. We are men and women, not robots. We are very good at dealing creatively with out of the norm situations. Everyone has a talent, and when we pool our resources, we find a way.
In case nothing breaks, we have other ways to enhance the classic bike experience with challenging situations. Sometimes we crash! Not usually pleasant, but it happens. We deal with it. Actually, crashing without being injured is rather exciting, though I don’t normally recommend it. On a recent tour, we were riding in light rain when Erik slipped on a big oil slick on a wet road. Very little damage to the bike, and the rider was totally unscathed. This was not very challenging, and did very little to bring out the best in us so I had to step in. I was revving the bike to 4,000 rpm in neutral, trying to figure out why it sounded off song. It dropped into first gear all by itself and tried to take off. Much more damage now…a real character builder.
Don’t let me scare you out of coming on a RetroTour. Just know that these are machines, not appliances. These machines were designed and built to be ridden, not just looked at. I realize that many of you own antique motorcycles. Perhaps riding your pride and joy in the rain, letting other riders of unknown capabilities ride your bike, breaking or maybe crashing it sometimes, does not seem like a great way to enhance your investment. You are 100% correct. That’s why RetroTours is such a bargain. For a very fair and reasonable fee, you totally experience the bikes and the real-world riding and wrenching they demand. No chase vehicles here. Life on the road as it once was. Sign up for a tour now, before self-driving vehicles take over, before you’re too old. If you’re nowhere near too old, do it to experience the essence of man + machine motorcycling, as it was done IN THE DAY. You will come out of it a better motorcyclist, and maybe a better person. RetroTours builds character!
Don’t just look at it. Ride it. Wrench it

Ride a Piece of the Past on a Path Less Taken